Back To School...I Mean Back To Basics

It's that time of year again when the last summer vacations, photos, and jumps in the pool start to get replaced with first school year photos, back to school shopping, a small but noticeable nip in the air, and football, of course.

I have to admit by looking back at some of my blog posts recently that I have a definate flag on the playing field. I have used it too much to vent about my own things in life and while that is some of the purpose of blogging, it is not it's meant to be purpose. I created this as a place for other moms, single moms, singles, anyone who is in need of not feeling like they are the only one to go through something similar on my journey to come and laugh, cry, or breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe even find some peace.

Hence, back to basics. Back to the basic supplies you need to learn about life, to be guided by teachers of all walks of life, pack my bag with only the necessities, and continue on and to share my journey with you all. I have all summer been asking myself what to pack with me on my journey to get the most out of it and here is what I have come up with:

1) God
2) Faith
3) The Word - the best map, how-to guide, and storybook there is out there
4) Time - I am tired of rushing and scheduling for my journey, I want to let something/someone bigger take that on
5) A notebook - always good to write down one's thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams...then lay them aside for them to not fret on the mind
6) Steady feet and an extra pair of socks of course because it's not always going to be an easy, dry road

I want to focus on my journey, note - not focus on myself, but the journey I am meant to live, or lead, or serve, whatever way God has planned for me. I want to share the good of that with you, not the angst or anger or sadness for things that are not that important.

I know there are some FAQ's here now, especially since I was called today because of my lack of online activity and some online activity of others, lol. No really, my dad called to try and be sly to check up on me because of lack of and others' Facebook posts.:

Am I still with A?  Yes, very much so, still very much in love, and building our foundation. However, note "our foundation," some things I may still share but it truly is our journey and our foundation and I want to respect that as much as A respects me.

How is the job stuff working out? Let me just say I made the right decision. I had the opportunity today to drop off the kiddo at school, work a long day, PICK UP the kiddo from school, make dinner and darn if that kiddo didn't color on her own, her own idea FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER as I made dinner then had a conversation WITH me during dinner. This is amazing for her!!!

No, really, are you making it financially? If I said it wasn't tough, I would be untruthful. However, we have the same roof, utilities (including the luxury of internet), and food for another month. God will provide just as he will provide or help me on the path he wishes me to take in my work in the world. Part of that is literally making my dream a reality - more on that later but it's actually happening!

If I am missing anything, let me know. And before I go, I wanted to share the fruition of another single mother's journey of "the unexpected summer of single moms," she is great and has been on my whole journey in some way shape or form, in fact though I don't have any of the gifts, I do have the receipt from the wedding gift she sent me almost 6 years ago, haha!

http://amandacarroll.org/30-days-of-powerful-prayer-for-a-single-mom/


Pack only what you need and join us on our journeys!

The Truth Hurts

A, I am asking you not to read this, not a passive aggressive attempt at anything, just please don’t read this.

 

I had a post awhile back about always telling the truth to those closest to you, if you took that advice and got hurt I apologize because it wasn't until now or sometime last night that I realized how much being completely honest with you feelings can hurt.

Truth 1: I went part-time on a one income household, that took effect 10 days ago, and I have no leads on a part-time/PRN job. Did I apply for many? Yes, which leads me to the next truth below:

Truth 2: It’s time to start looking at retail jobs. There is nothing wrong with that, except if/when I take/get one – it means not being available for interviews when the time comes for “qualified candidate” jobs.

Truth 3: In talking with A last night, I discovered my worst fear (aside from anything with the kiddo), I need/possibly love someone more than they need (for sure)/love (this is hard to figure out) me.

Truth 4: In talking with A last night, I discovered that I have more to lose if I lose him than he does if he lost me.

Truth 5: The above means I’m flipping vulnerable as heck and ask a “strong” single mom what the worst feeling/realization of emotion is. Being flipping vulnerable.

Truth 6: Outside of A, work, and mommy-ing, I have no life. I have a pre-schooler with what would have been called Asperger’s. I can’t get a sitter, I am not a million friend person and my few friends are busy with their own lives right now – so there you go.

Truth 7: Limbo is the worst for me and if you read all of the above truths they all lead to limbo.

 

I will most likely see A again tomorrow afternoon at work and then later that night, he will to my joy stay over, and we will spend most if not all of Saturday together and finally get together for a fire pit/double date night with my bestie. I think part of the reason this makes me more happy is that it is my friend, a little level of comfort in that there is someone there for me too. Don’t get me wrong, A is and has been there for me, but a certain event anniversary is coming up and I know I have to be there for him. This isn’t a hard thing, but when you love the other person as much as I do – their pain is your pain, this pain A needs to go through will be painful for me to watch (but I will because I love him so much) because it revolves around life before me, a person before me, but I will do it because it is what he needs. And like I said and promised what seems like a very long time ago, I will always give him what he needs because I love him. I just worry about the other side of that today.