Sorry, didn't mean to stare, but here is why I did:
I was in complete awe that you could even take your child or
children in there because I know my own would wreck the place for one. The
other reason is, being the mom of one child who is a rough 3 years old, I gasp
in fear at the thought of that number increasing in any way, shape, or form –
so I am again in awe that you have chosen to take on that task that seems so
impossible to me personally. So be aware I am not staring in judgment, my jaw
just drops at things when I am not thinking. When I am in need of coffee and in
a said coffee shop, I am usually not thinking!
Point of post you ask? Good question. I never realized I was
staring until the other day when A and I were out and about with our respective
collective of 4 kiddos, trying to make our way to the park to let mine expended
some much needed energy, and the decision was made by all that we needed to caffeine
up before that adventure. OK, mainly me, A, and his oldest the teenager who
also shares the love for coffee. As we all trekked in, I was pulling up the
rear making sure my kiddo didn't pull a Wynonna on all the stuff set out by the
counter and there was a moment when I looked and really saw what two adults and
four kids ages 3-17 looked like. My jaw
dropped as I stared as I normally would and THEN I realized, this is our group….I
am one of the adults bringing four kids into Starbucks! It wasn't a negative
thing, just a shock, like an out of body experience. I think it was our first
time all out in public so that added to it a bit, throw the location of
Starbucks in there, and give an ole’ Harry Carry “holy cow” shout.
Needless to say my kiddo prompted us very quickly to go sit
outside rather than inside but it was all good. For a moment I sat back and
looked at A and all the kids on their tech stuff and good smile did come across
my face – of course moments later I realized my kid (unleashed literally at the
time) was headed toward the road so I quickly ran after her. Then then A and
the kids ran after me, quite the sitcom we were! We all made it to the park and
had a good time – I was happy my kiddo could be herself around everyone, though
when comfortable her way of showing it is giving everyone heart attacks, the
need for speed, and cravings for more caffeine and sleep.
I want to bring up the other point of my post now: I had
already said before I met A, that I wasn't sure how I was going to let someone
into our little family of two and how happy I was with our little family of
two. Then A came along and the good Lord opened my heart wider. After meeting
and hanging out with A’s kids, I had the same fear of where do the kiddo and I
fit in here, what are our roles, etc. Silly me, why did I even worry?! Last
night as I (sans kiddo) was walking back to the car with A and his kids – his daughter
huddled closer to me as we walked through a downtown ally saying she was scared
in such places and I put my arm around her instinctively and gave her a
squeeze, a real from the heart squeeze that I didn't even think about. That’s
when it hit me, I am falling for them too now, my heart is growing in ways I
never thought possible! I am now very comfortable that I don’t have to be a
step-mom role, or try and be a friend, or “act my age,” etc. I can just be me
and show them my heart honestly, just as I have shown A.
So now if I smile at you and your kid(s) in Starbucks, you
know why.
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