Before You Said "I Do"

Quick note: I began writing this post a week or so ago and wanted to delay the posting so any readers who had these anniversaries felt targeted :)

How did you feel before you walked down the aisle? What was going through your mind? I know the readers of this come from many backgrounds, married, divorced, not yet married, single, waiting to be married, etc.

This has been a time for many anniversaries/anniversary Facebook posts from my friends or people from my past. Looking at a lot of the wedding pictures and also some other professional ones online (my friend with the newborn has a bunch of tags from a professional photographer) - I notice a HUGE difference in the before and after pics of both the bride and the groom.

I see the brides to be and they look full of nerves and anxious; the grooms to be as well - even if they are trying to have a "cool groomsmen" pic - when they are caught standing alone and/or waiting for their bride to be, I see the same nerves. I wonder what lies behind those nerves so if you read this feel free to comment. For me, it was the people, the ceremony, and the feeling that I just couldn't breathe and now for me SINGLE mom in suburbia - now I know why.

Then there is the "man and wife" kiss, the newlyweds are both usually sharing either a nervous "we don't do this in front of people kiss" or the crowd pleaser "enough, enough" caught up in each other kiss picture. I like both versions because you can usually see the connection between the couple no matter if they just want to get out of there or are too caught up in each other to care about the crowd.

My favorite though is when they are at the very end or even past the aisle. The tension is gone, they don't care about everyone, they just want to get away to have a moment of their own - to laugh, to cry, to share their real kiss, to dread going to the reception even suggesting to just skip it. They are holding hands usually in this un-posed picture, laughing, looking towards each other if not directly at each other - and it just seems that they are ready to begin their life.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't envious of this last picture or the kind of man who is standing alone VERY anxiously awaiting his bride and new life, as ready and as nervous as she is looking at herself in the mirror. However, it does make me happy that these pictures do exist - because then for people like me it's not just a fairy tale, it's the beginning of for better or worse. And now in this very moment that I think about it, it is a way to show my daughter that even if our family is different, that this love can exist and is very real and very possible - especially if both come together knowing God in their own right.

Honestly again, for the past 2-3 years I never thought I would have a way to explain or show something that I never got to feel myself to her and that is it's own gift in itself.