I am sure this question is often asked sarcastically among circles of friends via text, munching on snacks in the kitchen, snacking during the game, or even as a jab directly to that spouse or significant other – though mostly in jest. I am sure this is a question that numerous spouses and significant others (of either gender) have across the country – especially approaching Super Bowl Sunday.
As I approach this Super Bowl Sunday, as I have dealt with the feelings of past Super Bowl Sundays (of which I have had to work the past 3-4 years), and am aware that this may be one of the if not the last years I may evade a simple yet complex question of “why does he love football more than me?” – I have written this letter:
My dear, darling daughter:
First off – if you are hurting in any way I am SO sorry for your hurt, I know I can’t take it away and it is not easy to hurt but know that it is OK to hurt and I am here for that when you need me.
What I have learned about people who seem to love football or other things or even other people more than us, is that they do not fully understand or have learned all there is to know about love yet. I wish and pray very very hard that all those people could be on the same “love level” that we are on so that we could all love together – but kiddo, it’s just not the way everyone was made. Even though I love you to the moon and back – that love still grows and grows every day.
The point I am trying to help you to understand kiddo is that you are loved. You are loved by SO many people it is ridiculous (insert big smile from mom)! And even though he is still learning how to love the way that you should be loved, the way that I love you, on his “love level,” I think he does and if you think he does on his “love level” too – that is what matters. So it’s not football or other things or a person that are loved more than you and it’s not you or anything about you either. He is just still learning.
I know that it may not make it hurt any less or make some of the things you feel about this sometimes any easier – but I hope that it helped you a little bit.
Love to the moon and back,
So to all you out there who are faced with similar questions with kids or significant others or family members – maybe this letter can help you too. I didn't come to this overnight, believe me! It took years of wondering why a certain beer was loved more than me, more than the child growing inside me, more than this beautiful and smart developing kiddo. However, this very long and “unlucky” month when faced with many outside people who tried to take away our money, our belongings, our time, and our love – I was told to pray for them. I guess I am finally doing that – because I really would like to hold on to my happiness.