Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Inspired

I took a short day (only 8.5 hours!) at work today to take the kiddo to a local Halloween community bash for kids and meet some friends there. After a few meltdowns, not getting how other kids just come up to mine and do whatever they want, processed to the nine's pizza, and the kiddo's first candy experience - we wound up home, watched a little of a movie while getting ready for bed and down she went a little later than usual per daylight savings time prep. I proceeded to then just crawl into bed, look on Facebook a bit, just wanting to sleep after the rough to say the least couple of days. Then I scrolled down to this link and it made all the difference:

http://inspiredtoaction.com/2013/10/ita-18-beauty-from-ashes-an-incredible-interview-with-amanda-carroll/

I laid and listened for a bit, wondering "why oh why weren't people doing that in my life/situation!" Then after dragging my but out of bed a few minutes in to at least fold laundry while I listened - it happened. She kept talking and I actually listened and realized what a blessing today had been, that strangers and friends, and God of course, provided a lot of that for me today.

A co-worker listened for 10 minutes, truly listened, and responded "you need a medal" and meant it. When I responded that I don't spank per abuse issues and my kiddo having real issues (this morning was pig wrestling, take it to the mat, God let me get through this next minute getting out the door) - didn't side eye me. A patient let me talk and conversed about how the multi-sensory approach to learning with little ones has helped my high functioning kiddo SO much and that she is so bright it made my face light up to her and gave the patient a glow as well. Because I am very, very proud of my little dinosaur. And a friend, knowing how hard this week has been on the kiddo and me per family "conversations," made sure to encourage my daughter when the kiddo said "mommy brave" and asked about other strong women attributes.

Then I went a little beyond the laundry as I kept listening, turned on the light, started working on the closet, excited to blog about this, share it, and pile that candy in a bag for a dentist buy back rather than eat it peace by peace!

Thank you for showing me how strong I am and can be, especially when it is the only option!

Saturday, October 26, 2013

The Showers...P.S - How Do You Roll

The past few posts have been a bit off the fun, holy cow this is Suburbia track - so here is a hopefully fun or at least pertinent transplant Suburbia post.

I was invited to two showers, one bridal and one baby, that I really didn't want to go to. So L to the YN why did you go you ask....."family obligations."

The first was the bridal shower, for a cousin's bride, a destination wedding that I couldn't afford but was still not even invited too, and in major Suburbia territory of one of the more....financially blessed areas around the city. So yeah, I had like a count down denial going on there. Oh - and I had to not only go with my mother but go in on a gift for people who have just bought and even bigger Suburbia home on a body of water. So of course the big day arrived, I handed over the cash, dressed up (this lady does not do that often, especially if only surrounded by women), and hopped in the car - we took my dad's to look fancier and this is not a joke - and rode up an hour. Did I mention it was one of my only kid free days a week AND Sunday football.

Needless to say, we arrived, were greeted, gave awkard high pitch "it's SO great to see you, you look great" greetings, ate food, listened to gushing of how awesome my cousin is, watched the obligatory slide show of the happy couple and their dog. Side-bar, yes a dog who not only had her own solo photos in the slide show but was included in the pro-engagement shots. Oh and there were games, brunch, truffles, the gifts to fill their new home, on the water, and I am figuring out if Meijer, Target, or the Dollar Store has the cheapest "home d├ęcor" for my new place......let's just say I was going to just keep up with my fantasy football team - but NO reception. Yeah - that was awesome.

The baby shower was much more low key and in my home town. My main reason for not wanting to go was just wanting ONE lazy non-travel Sunday, football (see a theme here), and the weird you know the person having the baby but only through your mom's being friends, but of course....family obligation. So no insane games or anything, and I figured free food. I am not kidding when I say I almost brought my own zip lock bags to take food home, but forgot. But it turned out kind of nuts because I only found out when I got there, kiddo in tow, that there were going to be a bunch of other kids there AND "we" were arriving early for set up. Did I mention I had my pre-school, a-typical kiddo with me?! So long story short, that resulted in my kiddo having meltdowns per being forced to be social with food she can't have, kids getting her space and face throwing her into her cycle, and an allergy outbreak from food in which Benadryl (no it does NOT have the sleepy effect on my kid) and me wanting to hide in the bathroom which didn't happen per a kid walking in on me with my pants down. The food was NOT worth it.

So there ya go - back to the Single in Suburbia norm post :) And a bonus below:

How do you roll? TP wise that is; over, under, or if you have a child just under, in the middle of, or just after the potty training roll - just hide it for your own use?

Friday, October 18, 2013

"Daddy Sick"

From the title of this blog, you obviously know I am a single mom, which comes with it's own challenges - not to mention the many talks down the road that I choose to try not to think about.

Well, at the young age of under 3, we are down the road.

The kiddo and I live on our own, always have since her birth, she just this past year sees her dad and/or grandma (his mom) on the occasional weekend. This past Sunday was one of those weekend days and her dad had to cancel because he was sick. She was expecting him as she is usually set up for visits, but things happen I guess. All day long she was asking my parents "mommy?" Mommy's at work. "Daddy sick." If that wasn't enough to tug at you. 

Then her favorite show has a mommy, daddy, and kid tiger in it. The mommy has been absent the last few shows, prompting "where mommy tiger?" and "where daddy tiger?" when he is not in that 2 second scene. I have been doing my best per the shows situation; work, mommy things, grocery shopping, etc.

Then the other day the kiddo was attached at the leg (has been this week) and upset. She had just watched her show and asked the above questions and at linner had asked "daddy?" So I asked her if she wished someone besides mommy and kiddo was here she said yeah in her sad voice. I then asked "if you could have someone else here, who would she want" she replied "a daddy." I was honestly thinking she might say her Gram or Pop, knew she might say daddy, but more importantly knew she needed to express something. So not only did my heart drop for her (and me, not because of her particular dad but the idea of a "family") but I had to think a little quick. I just told her the truth, that daddy can't be here right now because......then she finished my sentence "daddy sick" again in her sad voice.

I almost wanted to cry because when she does get bigger, that might be the most truthful explanation. Not because of a judging type of matter, but because some of her dad's issues (at the time of the split anyway, just a few years back) can be medically coded issues. But for now, daddy just lives in a different house and mommy and kiddo are a family of two. I hope I handled it ok, I just want her to know that if she needs/wants to talk about it she can, however, I also want her to get to the place where she is OK with just mommy and me.

 

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

What's In A Lunch?!

I was driving home after picking up the sleeping kiddo today, the end of a long shift day, and we were passing oh so many tasty, tempting dinner options completely unhealthy for me but the taste - especially of that nice cold full of sugar fountain soda.......but it is not in the budget, I knew I had food at home, and the kiddo needed her bed. So no stopping or treats for this momma.

That's alright I told myself, it's just like your lunch. You see, every work day I have the same thing for lunch with slight variations - turkey or ham sandwich, veggie chips or sticks, a Gatorade, then for snack crackers and cheese and variations of Greek yogurt with water. Tasty? Somewhat. Filling? It gets the job done.

But the big things are time and budget. If I were to really do the math, I would say that each lunch is roughly around $2 over a good time span of lunches - since I work shift hours. That is pretty good, especially considering it includes my snack for the day as well and added home essentials if needed. Also, when I pack my lunch in the late afternoon/evening the day before - it takes about 3-4 minutes if that; I am working on a plan where I have everything broken down into containers/bags to just grab and go - leaving only a sandwich to actually be made that day. So even though it might sound boring, again it gets the job done when eating on the medical run and though I occasionally mix it up - keeps me in my financial and time budget.

I guess that is the Single Mom transplant in Suburbia/city commuter part - it may not be fancy or match with others' tastes but it's what I do, to do what I do. I am the one where everyone comes in and says "got your sandwich and veggie chips for lunch" everyday and I love to surprise them when I actually get something like a wrap or sandwich.

So though it may not be a happy meal - it makes the budget and my time off a little more happy. What does your lunch do for you?

Monday, October 14, 2013

Exit Suburbia?

I have mentioned a move among other things in a few of my previous posts, which may have left you wondering - L to the YN, have you exited Suburbia?

Yes and no. The kiddo and I have moved to our own apartment which is much less in Suburbia than the dwelling in my parents home! Exciting yes, tough a bit, but the kiddo and I seem to be adjust now, becoming more settled and hopefully by the holidays or before will be in our own rhythm, thriving like no other. However, school is still in Suburbia, as are the grandparents, and some friends too - so we frequent often even though we reside in our own little world here.

So you will all still get your doses of Single Mom in Suburbia - all three parts of that title and more!

I would like to thank you all if you have kept us in your thoughts during this time, during the trials of our move or pending moves or even when our possibilities fell apart. I knew in my heart God would provide the right timing and I still pray and have faith that he will provide just enough to keep us here in our own world to continue our journey as a family of two.


Well - in 12-14 years and with lighter hair anyways ;)

Thursday, October 3, 2013

What A Difference A Bed Makes

Wait for it.......




We moved! We have a home! Ok, well an apartment home but still - a home! However, for my pre-pre-school atypical kiddo, it is quite the adjustment.

The day I took over the apartment, believe me we were in with the bare essentials - it is still pretty bare essentials, lol. So I brought a few of her things, her mattress and bedding (did I mention she just transitioned to toddler bed and rather well surprisingly), my sleeping bag and clothes. The first night at the new home I put her to bed what seemed like a hundred times, getting very little sleep myself, the second night went a little better, but still late to bed. So I decided that even with everything being insane schedule wise - she needed that bed, which meant some taking apart, crossing fingers it fit in the "truck" and the putting it back together.....the last part occurring late in the evening while the kiddo was running around.

With perseverance, finally getting the 2 posts on the right way the fourth time of four assembly possibilities - done! And she went to bed like nothing else, I didn't even have to stay in there - the kiddo has been following me around like a shadow here to make sure she knows I am here. Oh and the dollar store night light bulbs helped too!
 Below is the process of a single mom getting 'er done:


 
 
 
The next one is of one of my favorite parts of a new place:

 

Simplicity - I am looking forward to getting a home cooked meal by me in soon for the kiddo and myself though - fast food is rough on a budget and our systems.