Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Suburban Defintions and Clarifications

Today's post is inspired by yet another Facebook post in which many debated over the comments section of said post. If you knew me, where I grew up, my self-instilled values - you would understand that I do not judge the Suburbia that I live in or the people that have settled here, nor is that the purpose of my blog.

Let us start with the basics:

Suburb: a smaller community adjacent to or within commuting distance of a city

I am fine with this, I live in a metro area and have a child, no city apartments please.

Suburbanite: a resident of a suburb

Transplanted, but yes I guess I am - below is a deeper explanation.

Urban Dictionary definitions of suburbanite:

Pretending that they have lots of money, but are actually broke after spending it all trying to impress people with their McMansions, SUVs, etc.

Not me folks - I live with my parents in Suburbia in a McMansion that I did not agree with the purchase of (nor in the future am looking forward to getting rid of) and I do own a very modest almost 10 year-old paid off SUV. I am however surrounded by the above - this is what I do not like about society in general, the sacrifice for that ideal. You lose family time, money, me time, peace time, money to those who need a dwelling in general be it a tent even...I could go on and on.

Love of shitty chain "restaurants" such as Applebee's, Chili's, The Olive Garden, IHOP, etc.

I do love an Olive Garden salad and soup meal - because it is under $8 and unlimited...hello; I do meet at a chain for "girls night" only because they are the only decent things around, deal on the cheap, have drink specials, and we sit in awe at ourselves out of body realizing that we are old and are talking about what school our kids are going to go to before finishing half of said drink and getting into the wow our families are a little wacky and remember the college and/or pre-kid days. We also give each other "yes that is totally normal, thank God I am not the only one who thinks like that" monthly mental check-ups.

Lacking in social skills and intelligence, due to their refusal to interact with anyone other than their elementary/middle school classmates from 15-20 years ago.

Surprisingly, the suburbanites I have come across - well a handful I guess - are very intelligent, not lacking in social skills, and are transplanted just as I am. Now, have I become accustom to the classic hand wave as a car with dark windows you assume is a neighbor drive by, sadly yes though I do side-eye myself more often than not during this wave.

So my point, the people and events I speak about in my blog are generally the ones falling in the first Urban dictionary category who are afraid to let the true colors show - until they have a drink or two at the culd-a-sac party after the food has been eaten and the kids are off around the neighborhood. The folks that you only know exist because of the aforementioned car wave but never exit their house, the ones that have lost the true meaning of what it means to own a home and I do not mean mowing the lawn, the walking dead.

I hope you get me now to some degree and why this blog is meant to exist: to debunk the childhood myth that I was "rich" because we rented (rent being the operative word) out the one house in the neighborhood with pillars that were rotted out and could be kicked from their stands and needed a bad paint job.

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