We all say it and I really wonder what percentage of parents are faced with the actual task of going through personal worst nightmares or bearing a cross of what seems of unbearable load more days than not.
This is a rough post simply because of the fact that I don't want to go into giant detail about my kiddo's issues and even if I did, a lot of people would still not understand what I was talking about (note: this is not to say one wouldn't sympathize, just not fully understand what I mean by certain things). Also, I know that though my load seems so heavy on so many days, that I am carrying what seems like feathers compared to some other parents out there.
The kiddo is special, because unique would not quite be the word as other kiddos have the same type of things that make them special too; and it's not the first time mom doting/worrying kind of special, it's the my kiddo has a unique rhythm that only a few know how to unlock, many don't understand, it's not going away, and it's up to me to find the skeleton keys for her future.
My point in this post is that if there is even one other parent out there that reads this, that it is ok to be frustrated with what you need to give up or go through sometimes, make a list, and know that you are not blaming your kid at all by doing this. I am tired, SO freaking tired, but I like many are going to burn the midnight oil tonight and wake up and do it all again tomorrow....and repeat.
My list in paragraph form because I have to figure out my privacy settings on this thing, lol, and yes this is my Saturday night - the list can start there. You can add having what you have always deemed the closet family members being taken out of your inner circle by your own choice in your child's best interest; throw in dash in therapies and appointments and phone calls out the wazoo (sp?) that you almost have to have a database for; sometimes you have to find what you think would be simple (ground floor please) housing accommodations; mix in with that the stares, looks, and comments - again by people who are supposed to care the most but just don't get it. Sometimes I think that being single is my blessing in this because there is no one to fight with or at least go to bed gritting your teeth at with because my kiddo was one of many chosen to take the road less traveled which is one heck of a hike.
So after my post-kiddo bedtime nap, here I am, showered, partially refreshed meaning awake - the parents who get this will understand exactly how being awake is an awestruck moment at times, starting prep for both the actual and proverbial tomorrow that awaits me and my kiddo.
Andplusalso, I just noticed that Explorer spellcheck must have been one of my recent computer updates, huh.
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