Saturday, June 1, 2013

Moving On or Left Behind?


This is a question that follows us our whole lives, popping up here and there, usually when we least expect it and it doesn’t matter where we live or are moving to.

This topic came up, not as being single, but as I found out that the news of my cousin moving across the country was not just Facebook talk – and I did find out through Facebook that this was all happening. I am shocked but not surprised, but like I said it brings me to the question of is his moving on making me feel left behind. It is all for the best for him, his dream, closer to his sister and her family, away from our hometown/aging family, closer to his way of life and the way he wants to live it. And it is not like he has not worked his butt off for this because he has and he deserves everything he wishes to find – and I do wish him well, however, it feels like the cement that it is time for our generation to move on.

I will be finding a new place for me and the kiddo to reside here this summer, already making steps of down-sizing, minimizing, more-over increasing my role in her 24/7 care by starting to drop her off at “school” on my way to work – very early in the morning for both of us – but a needed and acceptable adjustment.  I also need to find someone that can pick her up on the days I am unable to from “school” and do the simple duty of dinner and bedtime if I have to work late. I am lucky enough that my position with either allow me to be home with her 4 out of 7 days or at least be there for morning and evening duties plus weekends. Not easy to find or make happen as a single mother these days.

Back to my point – the above will be moving on for us, yet possibly giving my parents the feeling of being left behind. The kiddo is already quite aware of the roles – I am mommy/parent and her grandparents are grandparents who just sometimes happen to be there when she wakes up, pick her of from school. This will be a change for them; I do hope for the better eventually that they get their peaceful mornings and evenings back, the ability to make dinner plans without checking schedules first (of which they could do now but don’t either due to habit or obligation – my sense is the former), and getting a quiet house back – it is this in which I worry for them.

But we must also leave the emotions behind or move on from them. For now it is not my job to take care of my parents, it is not my worry. It is time for Sarah and me to move on, to truly become one again for better or worse – a true family; true to ourselves, true to our faith, and true to others.

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