Fresh embers of anger initially, followed by a collection of baby step kindling, and hopefully a long lasting fire that can - if built right, with the right winds to keep it going - get my daughter and myself more of a life of our own and more distinguishable independence.
The unfortunate of the above will cause some pain to those "close" to me, but sadly who do not know me - the me I have become with SO much work, faith, pushing, learning, and teaching these past almost 3 years. These same people have asked on multiple occasions during that time of growth "when would I me the old L to the YN again?" The answer to that is simple - never. I have grown not only in age, but in some sort of wisdom and a lot of love as I have become a parent, and I have survived - yes now a true survivor I am proud to say - a great deal of pain in which I did not deserve, but realize that though it was part of my path it is now part of my past. I want to shout at these people - I am a survivor!!! However, shouting I have learned does not begat listening.
I may soon have more details on this readers, an audience I hope to grow as well - but first I have to figure out privacy settings on this crazy thing. I have also learned that due to circumstance, yet to be understood why God chose that circumstance and the news of it while I was writing this post, my circle will become smaller yet again - a circle that had a lot to do with my own faith building with "my own people."
As I pray for my fire to lead me in action:
"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."
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