Sunday, November 24, 2013

Take A Closer Look

A lot of times we judge people by their appearances, how they look, what they have in their hands, how they carry themselves. So I wanted to share what many may see from afar of me and what my reality really is, not to get pity or anything but because I have made my own thoughts on others based on the above myself - a mistake I won't make again:

What you see: Nice matching knit set of hat, scarf, and gloves (she can even use her phone with them)
Reality: That set is a gift I got in high school and am wearing out to look nice 14 years later, I can use my phone with the gloves because of the hole (one of a few) in the index finger. My keep me warm set is from K-mart and still a few years old at that, but it works.

What you see: A nice black pea coat
Reality: My parents got that for me also - back in college - so about 10 years old but they pay for the dry cleaning every season to keep it looking sharp. Don't put anything in the pockets because you won't see it again per the holes :P

What you see: Three name brand shopping bags
Reality: One bag is from the jeans I finally took back for a different size after the ones online didn't fit that I got with a gift card, one is actually a gift for my niece that I was able to get via sales and $4 in coupons I had saved the past 6 months just for the holidays, and the last has two glue sticks, stickers, and a cheap orange bouncy ball (to look like a basketball) as part of my kiddo's present for what she has to go through at a children's hospital tomorrow.

What you see: A really fit, in-shape looking young woman
Reality: I try to be fit, but the "fit" you see is from a large weight loss from stress and illness last year - I finally gained started to put on and retain the weight after 6 months of hard work. It's going down again slightly so I carb load every night and make sure my body has substance if I want to work out. I am sometimes limited to just stretches.

What you see: A strong woman
Reality: Spot on, however, I got this strength by 1) the grace of God and 2) from fighting two giant uphill battles that were filled with breakdowns, getting back up, being broken down again, and fighting back up through the tears one final time. And when I am strong for my kiddo's battles, I am the only one there and sound strong in my words but facing forward I have silent tears of fear on the way in the garage and tears of relief that the hard part is over again when driving out.

Again, I wrote this not for pity or anything like that because I find myself truly blessed (spoiler for tomorrows post: A Home for the Holidays), but because I realized today how I must appear to the outside world of suburbia at times. I have also seen that same young woman, with all the right gear and shopping bags - boy how I envied her. I leave you with this:



1 comment:

  1. All very true. Praying for you two today! I know it's hard to stay strong on the inside but you sure do a good job. Hang in there

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