Could "I Do" it again?

I have been wondering the past week or so if I could really do the full on, lifelong or long term relationship again. Let me also preface that my marriage was not real, just a snowball of a first date to dating to moving in to engagement to marriage, look I'm pregnant and 4 months after 5 years done. 

I have been back on the online dating circuit again (shush - I know I know) and first off I wonder if any guy can understand and respect that I may not be able or in the mood to text every.single.day as I work full time, stay at home with a kiddo full time, run a household, and still treasure the me time I do get. Also the more time I do live my own life, I enjoy doing my own thing my way. 

And the above is just how you begin a relationship with someone, then you have to trust. I can trust but knowing that I am trusting for two even if the guy never meets my kiddo until super serious (which by mine and others' experience is the way it should be) is tougher. It will take a lot is faith in God and praying, reflecting that I am doing the right thing, walking the right path. 

This brings me to my third point, only true  Christian men need apply. I tried to look over this rule once or twice but being a Christian person and woman and mother is a big part of who I am now, and those who don't believe or do not have their heart with God/Jesus/Holy Spirit won't get that. And I am not going to church no matter what kind alone with my child (or children) either - that is true God blessed family time. 

So with all that said, it's not that I don't want or don't think it's going to happen - I pray for it a lot, now may just not be the time and that's ok. It's not to say there are not times/things when I wish I was dating or in a true relationship but it's going to take time. My future guy needs to understand that. And I have to be open enough to express but not explain that - if that makes any sense. Communication is key, but my guy needs to get me too, to understand by my actions or words to communicate or ask or express his own needs and to fully understand each other's needs.

So thanks for reading, I know it has been awhile since a post and this was more serious but life happened and when it does you think about what you want your life to mean and be.